Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So gin and wine won't be happening again
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
