you guys were way drunker than both of me
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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