its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
