I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
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Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
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You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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