omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
