So drunk its hurt
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
