My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
