Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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