K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
do herpes really smell.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Randomize
