wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Michael Bay diarrhea
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
