Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
