she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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