I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
