u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
