I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
