At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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