found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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