Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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