I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
