i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
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