Well apparently he's into motor boating.
My hand turned me down
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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