She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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