Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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