Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
the day after is always just damage control
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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