you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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