My room smells like vodka and shame
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead