I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"