Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!