His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?