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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head

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• (845): View more from New York

  I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (979): View more from Texas

  It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that

  (972): View more from Texas

  How awkward

  (214): View more from Texas

  Yeah it's pretty fucked up

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing

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