the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...