Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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