the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
