i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
