Don't make out with my wife yet
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
