pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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