you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
