his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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