i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize