Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I need a beard to bite.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize