Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me