I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.