you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?