Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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