I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize