i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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