Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just want to make out with him forever
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
