come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
