i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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