Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
