How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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