Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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