hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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