I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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