Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Randomize
