Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
