i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
