do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
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Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
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Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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