I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
