Can Purell be used as lube?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
