so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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