Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
