And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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