Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
