my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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