We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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